Midlife, Reconsidered

Tag: wellness

  • I Thought I Was Burned Out | The Truth About Stress, Exhaustion, and Midlife

    I Thought I Was Burned Out | The Truth About Stress, Exhaustion, and Midlife

    Somewhere in my early thirties, I began to feel it.

    Not all at once. Not dramatically. Just… here and there.

    An aggravated hip after a long shift. A left shoulder that would ache for days because I “slept wrong.” A harder time getting back into my routine after a vacation. My bounce-back started to feel less like a bounce and more like a slow roll.

    At the same time my body was whispering, my mind started getting louder.

    On paper, everything was right.

    Marriage. Home. Kids. Career.
    All the boxes checked.

    Everything was exactly as it should be.

    So why did I feel… off?

    Why was I so tired all the time?
    Why was I gaining weight in a way that didn’t make sense?
    Why was I quietly Googling things like “How to be a happy woman?”

    I can laugh about that now. But at the time, it didn’t feel funny. It felt heavy. Confusing. A little scary, if I’m honest.

    I was working around 60 hours a week. Salary, not hourly. There was no clocking out, just carrying it all home with me. No matter how much I gave, there was always more to do.

    And without realizing it, I stayed in that cycle longer than I should have.

    Somewhere in the middle of taking care of everything and everyone else, I stopped checking in with myself.

    And slowly, almost without noticing, I became stretched thin in every direction.

    As a wife.
    As a mother.
    As a woman who used to know herself.

    Was I burned out?

    Now, I can say yes.

    Back then, I wouldn’t have dared.

    Because saying I was burned out felt like admitting something had gone wrong. I had worked for that job. I had earned it. I had been mentored, trained, prepared. That position was supposed to be the reward.

    So how could I say,
    “I worked so hard to get here… and now I don’t want it anymore”?

    I couldn’t.

    So instead, I kept going.

    What We Call “Burnout”

    Eventually, I started hearing the word more.

    Burnout.

    It’s a term we throw around often, but it actually has a very specific meaning. The World Health Organization defines burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by exhaustion, detachment, and a reduced sense of effectiveness (World Health Organization, 2019).

    And it’s not rare.

    Burnout and stress are at all-time highs across professions, with the majority of adults reporting work-related stress and many experiencing emotional exhaustion and physical fatigue (American Psychological Association, 2022).

    So if you’ve felt this… you’re not alone.

    Not even close.

    But Here’s What No One Told Me

    Burnout isn’t just in your head.

    It’s not just emotional.

    It’s not just about being tired or needing a vacation.

    Chronic stress actually changes the way your body functions.

    When we are under prolonged stress, the body activates the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis, releasing stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this system can become dysregulated rather than returning to baseline (Ciobanu et al., 2021; ).

    And when that happens, the effects show up everywhere:

    • Energy levels
    • Sleep patterns
    • Weight regulation
    • Mood
    • Even immune function

    Burnout doesn’t just feel physical.

    It becomes physical.

    So Maybe It Was Burnout…

    Looking back, burnout was definitely part of my story.

    The long hours.
    The constant demand.
    The pressure to keep showing up at a high level no matter what.

    That was real.

    But something else was happening too.

    Something I didn’t have language for at the time.

    Because while I was pushing through, staying productive, and checking all the boxes…

    My body was slowly starting to change.

    And I wasn’t listening.

    A Different Question

    What I wish I had asked myself back then wasn’t:

    “Why can’t I handle this?”

    It was:

    “What is my body trying to tell me?”

    Because sometimes what we label as burnout…
    is only part of the story.

    Later This Week

    In my next post, I’m going to talk about something I completely overlooked during that time.

    Hormones.

    How they shift in midlife.
    How they impact energy, mood, and weight.
    And how they can quietly amplify what we think is just burnout.

    Because if you’ve ever felt like something is off…
    but you can’t quite explain it…

    There may be more going on than you’ve been told.

    References

    American Psychological Association. (2022). Burnout and stress are everywhere. Monitor on Psychology.

    Ciobanu, A. M., Damian, A. C., & Neagu, C. (2021). Association between burnout and immunological and endocrine alterations. Romanian Journal of Morphology and Embryology, 62(1), 13–18.

    World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an occupational phenomenon: International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11).

  • Perimenopause in Your 40s: What’s Actually Happening in Your Body

    Perimenopause in Your 40s: What’s Actually Happening in Your Body

    There’s a point in your 40s where your body starts doing things that don’t quite make sense.

    You’re more tired—but sleeping doesn’t always fix it.
    You feel anxious—but nothing obvious is wrong.
    Your weight shifts—even though your habits haven’t.

    And if you’ve brought it up to a provider, you may have been told:

    “Your labs look normal.”

    Which only makes it more confusing.

    Because something is happening.

    What Is Perimenopause, Really?

    Perimenopause is the transition leading up to menopause, and for many women, it begins in their 40s—sometimes even earlier.

    It’s not a single event.
    It’s a process of hormonal fluctuation, primarily involving:

    • Estrogen
    • Progesterone

    These hormones don’t decline in a smooth, predictable way.

    They rise, fall, and shift—sometimes dramatically—before eventually settling.

    And it’s this instability, not just decline, that drives many of the symptoms.

    Why It’s So Easy to Miss

    Perimenopause often doesn’t look the way people expect.

    It’s not just hot flashes or skipped periods.

    It can show up as:

    • Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
    • Increased anxiety or irritability
    • Sleep disruption (especially waking around 2–4 AM)
    • Fatigue that feels disproportionate to your day
    • Changes in weight or body composition
    • Lower stress tolerance

    Individually, these symptoms can be explained away.

    Together, they start to form a pattern that’s easy to feel—but harder to name.

    The Hormone Piece (Without Overcomplicating It)

    Estrogen and progesterone affect far more than just your cycle.

    They influence:

    • Sleep regulation
    • Mood and emotional balance
    • Cognitive function
    • Metabolism
    • Stress response

    So when they begin to fluctuate, the effects aren’t isolated.

    They ripple across multiple systems at once.

    This is why you might feel like:

    “Everything is just a little off.”

    Why “Normal Labs” Don’t Tell the Full Story

    This is one of the most frustrating parts.

    Hormone levels during perimenopause can fluctuate day to day.

    So a single lab draw may fall within a “normal” range—even if you’re symptomatic.

    That doesn’t mean nothing is happening.

    It means:

    • The changes are dynamic
    • And your symptoms matter just as much as the numbers

    It’s Not Just Hormones

    At the same time this is happening, life is often demanding more from you.

    You may be:

    • Managing a full career
    • Caring for others
    • Navigating relationship shifts
    • Re-evaluating your direction

    So what you’re experiencing is often a layering effect:

    • Hormonal shifts
    • Chronic stress
    • Changing identity

    All interacting at once.

    What to Start Paying Attention To

    You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight.

    But this is a good time to start noticing patterns:

    • When is your energy lowest?
    • How is your sleep changing?
    • What increases or decreases your stress?
    • What no longer feels sustainable?

    Awareness is more useful here than perfection.

    A More Grounded Approach

    Instead of trying to force your body to respond the way it used to,
    this phase invites a different approach:

    • Supporting your body instead of pushing through it
    • Prioritizing recovery, not just productivity
    • Adjusting expectations in a way that reflects reality—not pressure

    This isn’t about doing less.

    It’s about doing what actually works now.

    If You’re Starting to Wonder

    If you’ve been feeling like something is shifting—but haven’t been able to clearly define it—

    There’s a good chance you’re not imagining it.

    And you’re not alone in it.

    This is a transition that deserves more clarity, more conversation, and more support than it often gets.

    This is just the beginning of understanding what’s happening—and what actually helps.

    More to come.