What Is Your Body Actually Asking For
After realizing it may not just be burnout, the next question becomes:
’Okay, then what is my body trying to tell me’
Let’s jump back into my story.
I was in my mid-thirties, around 255 lbs, working 12-hour shifts, and feeling generally at odds with where I was and where I wanted to be.
At the end of a typical day during this time, I would drag into the house, throw something together for dinner—usually something fatty and comforting—shower, and fall into bed feeling genuinely exhausted—but unable to fall asleep.
I would toss and turn and think about what wasn’t done. Think about all the ways I was allegedly failing. Eventually, I would fall asleep, but I would wake up feeling as though I slept without ever really feeling rested.
That routine got old.
I had to do something.
I needed to fix things.
That was my instinct:
Fix my schedule
Fix my body
Fix my eating
Fix my attitude
Fix my energy
Fix my marriage (more on that later)
When things feel wrong, we often jump into fixing because we have been conditioned to do this. We have been conditioned to assume that when things are off, we are the problem.
You’re overweight.
Fix: lose the weight.
You have wrinkles.
Fix: creams, neurotoxins, fillers, light therapy.
Your partner ends things.
Fix: get them back. I feel silly typing that one.
You didn’t get that promotion.
Fix: work harder.
And the list goes on…
But hold up.
What if the first step isn’t fixing anything?
What if the first step is listening?
Examining?
Reconsidering?
Shameless plug. Couldn’t help myself.
The Question We Rarely Ask
Most of us ask:
’What is wrong with me’
Instead of:
’What is my body trying to tell me’
That one small shift matters.
Because yes, you may be overweight. But those last 30 lbs did not happen overnight. There was a change, a trigger, a season, a pattern, or a stressor. Something happened internally, externally, or both.
Understanding how you arrived outside of your ideal weight range is usually more helpful than immediately joining the newest weight loss trend.
The same goes for fatigue, irritability, cravings, low motivation, and feeling disconnected from yourself.
We often blame ourselves first.
Then we respond by applying more pressure.
More discipline
More control
More shame
More “I should be able to handle this.”
And somehow, we end up feeling worse than before.
But take heart in this:
The body gives information before it gives a breakdown.
The Midlife Body Check-In
So, how do we listen to ourselves?
This is important because the noise of life can make hearing yourself difficult and listening to yourself even harder still.
There are five main areas worth noticing:
Energy: When do I feel best’ When do I crash’ Am I recovering the way I used to’
Sleep: Am I sleeping enough’ Am I waking up rested’ Do I need caffeine to feel human’
Mood: Am I more irritable or emotional than usual’ Do small things feel bigger than they used to’
Cravings and appetite: Am I hungry, stressed, tired, bored, or overwhelmed’ Do cravings show up at the same time of day’
Stress tolerance: Do normal tasks feel heavier’ Am I constantly overstimulated’ Am I always bracing for the next thing’
Before we go into overwhelm mode, all five do not need to be addressed right now and all at once.
Pick the area that feels loudest and start there.
Not with judgment.
With curiosity.
Information, Not Judgment
Now, gentle caution.
Don’t download a special “body reflection app” with ads and notifications.
Don’t postpone this reflection until you have the perfect journal to write in.
Don’t turn this into another thing you have to organize, decorate, optimize, or make aesthetically pleasing before you begin.
I love a beautiful journal as much as the next woman, but sometimes the journal becomes the delay.
Simply pick one area, open the notes app that comes installed on most devices, put a date at the top, and write.
Or talk-to-text your thoughts, feelings, or observations about your stress, your energy, your appetite, your sleep, or whatever feels loudest right now.
Stick to it for a few weeks.
Then go back and read through your notes to see if you identify a pattern.
If your cravings show up every night around 9 p.m., maybe it is not random. Maybe it is the first quiet moment you have had all day, and your body is looking for comfort, pleasure, or a pause.
If your mood drops the week before your cycle, maybe you are not suddenly becoming a different person every month. Maybe there is a rhythm there worth noticing.
If your energy crashes every afternoon, maybe you are not lazy. Maybe you are underfed, under-rested, over-caffeinated, dehydrated, overwhelmed, or simply expecting a 40-something body to run on a 20-something recovery plan.
And if you are waking up tired after a full night of sleep, that is information too.
Not a reason to shame yourself.
Information.
Because paying attention can easily turn into criticizing ourselves.
That is not the goal here.
This is not about tracking every bite, every pound, every step, or every “mistake.”
It is not another challenge to complete or another standard to meet.
It is simply information.
Not evidence against you.
Information for you.
And sometimes that is enough to help you make a different choice.
What You Might Notice
When you start paying attention, you may notice things that were obvious in hindsight but easy to miss while you were living them.
Maybe you are not sleeping as well as you thought.
Maybe your cravings are worse when you skip meals, run on caffeine, or finally sit down after a long day.
Maybe your patience disappears after too many days of being everything to everyone.
Maybe your mood shifts around your cycle.
Maybe you feel worse after high-stress days, even if you “handled it” well in the moment.
Maybe the things you used to bounce back from now require actual recovery.
And maybe your body is not asking for punishment, pressure, or another discipline plan.
Maybe it is asking for:
More consistent rest
Better sleep protection
Regular meals instead of coffee, vibes, and whatever you can grab between responsibilities
Movement that feels supportive instead of punishing
Time alone
Less overcommitting
Lab work, a medical check-in, or a real conversation with someone who will listen
Boundaries
A slower pace
A little less criticism
Awareness can be uncomfortable because sometimes it shows us how long we have been ignoring ourselves.
That part can sting a little.
But it can also be freeing.
Because once you notice a pattern, you can stop treating every symptom like a personal failure.
And that is where reconsidering begins.
Maybe You Don’t Need a Whole New Life
Listening to your body does not always mean blowing up your life.
It does not always mean quitting the job, ending the relationship, moving to Bali, cutting bangs, and starting a podcast.
Although, honestly, depending on the bangs, that could go either way.
Sometimes it is smaller than that.
Going to bed 30 minutes earlier
Eating breakfast before trying to run the whole world
Saying no with the understanding that “No.” is a complete sentence
Saying, “I need help,” before everything falls apart
Choosing yourself in one small way and then doing it again
Your body may not be asking you to become a whole new person.
It may simply be asking you to stop abandoning the person you already are.
The Reconsidered Part
For me, this is where the work started to change.
Not all at once.
Not perfectly.
But slowly, I began to understand that my body was not just something to discipline, shrink, cover, correct, or push.
It was something to listen to.
Something to care for.
Something that had been carrying me through years of stress, responsibility, long shifts, emotional strain, and expectations.
And maybe it deserved more from me than criticism.
Maybe yours does too.
Maybe the work of midlife is not to force ourselves back into who we used to be.
Maybe the work is to become honest about who we are now, what we need now, and what is no longer working.
Because your body is not just changing.
It is communicating.
And maybe before we rush to fix it, punish it, ignore it, or compare it to who we used to be, we can pause long enough to ask:
’What are you trying to tell me’
This week, try checking in with yourself once a day.
Not to fix.
Not to judge.
Just to listen.
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